wants heed to need

i want
answers
for all my problems
all my arguments
i want
the means to resolve them
but its not happening
its life
and i am
trapped within
grip tightening
as my heart
pounds
its wandering eye
moves too close to your mouth
lips
glisten
words uttering
says no more talking
about this and that
or how i
get the bad wrap
i’d rather talk about
the
meaningless things
about the
dulldrums of work
how i’m allergic
to wasp stings
or the ache
that
makes
me
choke
everytime i think
about
how
my minds broke
down
i pretend to hear
a voice
how it might sound
when it says
this clutter is
out of control
only swells
as the ball
continues to roll
have your way
with me
take my all
and
swallow
the lump in my throat,
you.
its my fault
i don’t kick and scratch
or scream
i can’t even stand
to raise my voice
and this is my
choice
excuseable to me
if i don’t
leave a mark
it doesn’t
mean
my teeth arent sharp
just lost in
my nothingness
finding
a colder spot
most likely
underneath all this
humor me
speak with forked tongue
lie
to make it easier
promise a mile
never giving an inch
make me forget i’m
just dreaming
deny me the pinch
i want nothing
all my problems
i dont want them
thats
exactly the way
i want them
but
its not happening
this
want heeds to need
and i need
something