adderall
not at all
blink
as a measure time
in my
newly altered mind
this mess
a patch work of synapses
disconnected
and then rewired
leaves the
well exercised mind
reeling and tired
down this path I digress
its daily tour
grinding through the mess
i blame you
and all your chemical
intricacies
all that have
weakened me
in the worst way
i am the kind
that can not be saved

personally
its personalities
that trigger fascination
and its those moments
thick like syrup
still open to interpretation
that sequence of events
that led to
a new destination
focused in
focusing on
a miscalculation.

a drink
too forget
a memory
of no regret
but I’d rather
drown it
so here’s a drink
but before I down it
a toast to things
hardly forgotten…

i scribble
and scratch
mix
and match
wax
and wane
strive for
gain
and revert
back again
i am
perpetual sadness
i am sanity
wrapped in madness
with minds made up
by changing direction
for whatever its worth
this was my
idea of perfection

i made a pact
i kept my word
i gave it my all
i let myself be heard

i became a kite
i flew on the wind
i had a spool of string
i was kept out of limbs

i was taken away
by a healthy gust
i took my chances
and i thought it was enough

i am an ocean
i am the fetch
i am life driven
i am swell carried by wind

i became a river
i turned to fast
i veered into the mountains
i found myself at last

i was taken down stream
back to the ocean
i was where all things begin
where all great rivers end
i was home

i like the way
you think, i like a lot of things.
i like some
deep and meaningful things
but most of the time
i don’t like anything
its a charade
with the color guard
and the local mayor
more like a parade
so it comes off
like something official
its not
and while it might
make you sad
i’m indifferent
in league with
the easy
answer
that struggles
to find the
appropriate response
like a hand clasp
that screams
i’m still here
but where the
fuck did you go
maybe i can
make up
some words
or show you
some things
that might soothe you
but i haven’t any idea
what they’d mean
to you
or so
it seems
i’d just be guessing
so it seems
the older that I get
the less it
makes sense

wells run dry
and so do i

i don’t
know where
i went
but when
i got back
nothing
seemed to fit
home felt like
heart beats
for anothers
distant
sound smothered
while seeking
comfort
couldn’t stretch
back into
into my
favorite
garments
cause
cheating things
isn’t harmless

i don’t know
where i’m going
i don’t know where
i’ve been
but i’m going back
with my
bags packed
my smiles
all jacked
cause in truth
this fact
the end
came quick
and never
looked back

when did
i go from holding you
to missing you….
where did
everything familiar
vanish too…

i’ve got an ache
in my soul
the same one
i robbed
myself of
long ago
and you are
still to me
an envelope of
mystery
leave me
wondering
do you wrap
my words
tightly
around
your country twang
and recite them
as if you knew
my melody
cause its a song
you’ve always sang

you are
still to me
an envelope of
mystery
leaving me
wondering
do you wrap
my words
tightly
around your
country twang
and recite them
cause i’m a song
you’ve always sang