my fangers
those
carpal hangers
backhand smack
stangers
grip the neck
stranglers
wrestle the buttons
on your blouse
wranglers
have lost
the toss
heads
to tails
and are
now
neatly tied
noose
danglers

i don’t want to
sound like a
sad sappy
mother fucker
but i’m bereft
now that
not a sign
is left
you’ve
disappeared
i’ve been cleared
from all
thoughts
forlorn
to decay
with all the
forget me nots

a flaw
no matter
how small
is enough
to make
my skin crawl
so i
find myself
stressed
under duress
my mind
churns out
more thoughts
than i can
possibly
digest
and no matter
how hard i try
to shake it
I still feel useless

fetal position
quiver and try
to make sense
but it’s hard to
when everything
comes up fictitious
lies now surmount
the ones that
were dispelled previous
and the empty
hollow shell
grows more obvious
its not a moment
captured
but a prison cell
that never releases
its captives

if history has
taught me one thing
its that i never
learn anything

who wants to
be reminded of
everything they ever
did wrong
happy birthday
who wants to kick in
the teeth of
the one who’s smiling
happy birthday

33 years
to the day
what a way to say
happy birthday

last year
no presents
just a kiss
this year is
a reminder
nothing good
ever happened on this day
happy birthday

take a deep breath now
and blow the candles out
make a wish,
make sure
you have something
left to long for…
happy birthday.

if it makes you
feel good
if it makes you
remember
if it makes you…
make it
happen

yeah i got a guitar
and i learned a few chords
and now that i’m
strumming along
i thought i might
write you this song
although i’ll change
not me but the names
to protect my
my best intentions
but when you hear
this ballad
you’ll know
your soul will ache
as the sound fills your bones
your skin will chill
with each inflected tone

and before a chorus
i’ll belt out a few
whoa. oh. oh’s….

brown eyed girl
i broke our promise
and your not
the forgiving kind
not matter what I do
i’ll always be set
to rewind
as you play the tapes
to remind
that promise broke
on a sacred oath
isn’t something
you’ll let go

and the thing is
you may hear this song
but it wont matter much
cause you’ll already be gone
and i’ll wonder
i always do
like a poet
stuck riding public transit
using the back
of the seat as a canvas
pondering if the one
he pines for
ever reads
his scores

and a soulful wale
followed by something
inaudible

the lesson in
loving women
is keeping them
an arms distance
better yet its
knowing when
to quit them

the notion
we all live
only to die
plagues the mind
and robs us blind
its that taste
in your mouth
you can’t rinse out

its these and
lesser things
that keep us
earth bound
strapped to the ground
rockets primed
only barrier left
is sound
so speak

waking up
to missing you
no matter what
it is
that i do
alcohol
and pills
lungs of
smoke
and
cheap thrills
playing out
endless
scenarios
of a conquering
winner
who takes all
catching glimpses
of happiness
but
nothing
stacks
up
to
you

scheming
conspiring
all mouths
are loaded
but none of the
cannons are firing
words that
are flattering
shook up the bag
sent the
letters scattering
unable to find
the message
or the pattern in
anything
earth shattering
this is
senseless blathering
woolgathering
after spending
endless hours
with nothing
mattering