It’s not my fault
i’m finding
you intoxicating
as soon as
i breathe you in
the room starts to spin
the walls they cave in
and I can
barely control myself
i’m not sure what it is
or what it was
but there’s a lesson
i probably should of learned
a long long time ago

she said what the fuck
this has to stop
we can’t keep on
but you keep coming on
and i don’t have the will
to keep fighting you off
somethings gotta give
cause it feels too good
and I’m starting to wish
for more and more…

i’d pour my heart out
until nothings left
and i’ll find there isn’t
much for me to object
as hours slide by
the more I find my
lost connections
and stern objections
are just imagined
an elaborate
alternate reality
i’ve become trapped in

you pretend to struggle
although we both know
its futile to resist
and our lips connect
the sensation lifts
releasing waves of energy
in convulsive fits

concentrating on
pulling you in
by the
nape of your neck
as my fingers
grip your skin
following a gasp
you’re chasing
your breath
all while I’m
drawing the air
out of your lungs
just as easily
as these
word spill
from my tongue

you pretend to struggle
although we both know…
its futile to resist

it’s been weeks
since my mind dried up
the silence is relaxing
but I’ve been thinking
and yeah
that’s oh so dangerous…

ive got
something against
people in love
yes
some still chase
that myth
wide eyed
and
bushy tailed
jumping
head first
into the abyss
no questions asked
gone for days
but never
missed
rather than
being happy
with
finding any hint
of happiness
we seek to
detach this
emotion
cause its
selfish
and most often
misinterpreted

i smoke
for silence
it’s the only thing that quiets
the voices in my head
i drink
to forget
that i seek silence
that’s when i say
all the things better left unsaid
i sleep
out of habit
but in my dreams i don’t find solace
for me there is no rest
i wake
for life
because even though i can’t see it
i am still here for a reason.

unfettered
but still tethered
to what makes me
me
all that I am
is what i spout
so eloquently
verses of word
nouns and verbs
from the believable
to the completely absurd
each is a little piece of me
the kind of stuff
they auction silently
not correcting disparity
or seeking a higher
element for clarity
this is reality
and its a rarity
but here it is
raw in the flesh
no need to fear me
and all my flaws
so many
that i can’t count them
and now matter how hard i try
i will never surmount them
when you are born to be
someone like me
its just a natural occurrence
there is no breaking free

so I came around
yeah I found my way
and when I saw you
i had nothing to say
my thoughts and words
all just melted away

i climbed and climbed
until I ran out of rope
that’s when I heard the laughing
i guess now I’m the joke
nothing but empty mouths
and all I did was choke

when your hand glides
past your ears
to brush away your hair
and then pauses
to let your fingers
drag along
the base of your neck
i sigh and grind
my big wild smile
cause i know
the curve that slopes
to meet your shoulder
the way it flows
and meets your
fingers
i know it well
its where my mouth
rests easy

i bite my bottom lip
as i calculate
my hands next move

when you lean forward
slightly bent at the waist
and I catch the scent
that lingers long
after the taste
the one that
brings me to my knees
and puts a smile on my face

when you sigh
riddle the complexities
of life
and it miscellaneous
intricacies
when you declare
knowledge is the nectar
and we are its fruit
and life isn’t as meaningless
as is its pursuit

yes, its these things
that are my triggers
i feel it necessary
to spill them
from my fingers
compelled to record
and document
trials and errors

i’m only here
to keep you
smiling
and If I can
steal your breath
you know I will