if i could erase
the past
i would, delete all the curves my mind has mapped
but
i would
leave
intact
the intricate pattern
flecks of brown
and gold
indiscriminately matched
geometric shapes
fused by hands of
something greater than
any of us….
that is, the intricate pattern formed in your iris
be it of
land or sea
of earthly descent
or heavenly
the second i
find myself longing
in perpetuity
the faster
the feeling
depletes
you see
i have
a tendency
to love that
which will never
love me
who wants to
be reminded of
everything they ever
did wrong
happy birthday
who wants to kick in
the teeth of
the one who’s smiling
happy birthday
33 years
to the day
what a way to say
happy birthday
last year
no presents
just a kiss
this year is
a reminder
nothing good
ever happened on this day
happy birthday
take a deep breath now
and blow the candles out
make a wish,
make sure
you have something
left to long for…
happy birthday.
if it makes you
feel good
if it makes you
remember
if it makes you…
make it
happen
hating the seconds
that form
every minute
in every hour
of every day
disgusted with
this transference
its not
victim-less
it steals my
breath away
scrape and pry
get your
dirty little
finger nails
under the edge
and apply
upward pressure
scrape and pry
claw and dig
do what it takes
until you hit
what your
looking for
i’m tired of all the women
i surround myself with
that’s why i
sacrifice hours and hours
and hours
yeah i got a guitar
and i learned a few chords
and now that i’m
strumming along
i thought i might
write you this song
although i’ll change
not me but the names
to protect my
my best intentions
but when you hear
this ballad
you’ll know
your soul will ache
as the sound fills your bones
your skin will chill
with each inflected tone
and before a chorus
i’ll belt out a few
whoa. oh. oh’s….
brown eyed girl
i broke our promise
and your not
the forgiving kind
not matter what I do
i’ll always be set
to rewind
as you play the tapes
to remind
that promise broke
on a sacred oath
isn’t something
you’ll let go
and the thing is
you may hear this song
but it wont matter much
cause you’ll already be gone
and i’ll wonder
i always do
like a poet
stuck riding public transit
using the back
of the seat as a canvas
pondering if the one
he pines for
ever reads
his scores
and a soulful wale
followed by something
inaudible
and the pain
subsides
but the scars
will never hide
how your
subconscious
revoked
your power
to invoke
the memory
keeping you
whole
unadulterated
as anticipated
tied and tethered
and then
emancipated
and as previously
stated
content
with the thought
of the memory
keeping you
whole
rewired through
a sinewy mess
a twisted path
you digress
into the patchwork
of synapses
muscle memory
relaxes
it heaves
and then it
collapses
leaving you
with cancerous
masses
and the memory
of what you recalled
made you
whole
the lesson in
loving women
is keeping them
an arms distance
better yet its
knowing when
to quit them
the notion
we all live
only to die
plagues the mind
and robs us blind
its that taste
in your mouth
you can’t rinse out
its these and
lesser things
that keep us
earth bound
strapped to the ground
rockets primed
only barrier left
is sound
so speak
waking up
to missing you
no matter what
it is
that i do
alcohol
and pills
lungs of
smoke
and
cheap thrills
playing out
endless
scenarios
of a conquering
winner
who takes all
catching glimpses
of happiness
but
nothing
stacks
up
to
you
r.matlack 